In the world of espionage there are only three truths: trust is irrelevant, facts change, and expecting the unexpected never prepares you for the unexpected. Here lies the Spy Code, a series of legends pertaining to the different espionage truths. Most of you have never heard these tales. Some of you may have heard through the grapevine or in passing. Shockingly, few out there have experienced these myths firsthand. Welcome to the espionage world. Here is your lesson in truth.
The Alpha-Omega Rolodex: undoubtedly the most popular of these myths pertains to the nearly omnipotent deus ex machina known as the Alpha-Omega Rolodex. It is the beginning and end to all rolodexes ever in existence. It only lists anyone participating in the intelligence game. Constantly updating files, the rolodex runs self-aware thanks to a beyond-advanced A.I. mindframe. No one knows who or why or how built this listing. No one knows where it is or how to access it. There's only one report of the rolodex ever being accessed. The man in question wiped the A.I.'s mindframe of his existence. He no longer exists on paper or digitally or ever anywhere. Like the rolodex, this man is said to be a myth. He could be a she, he could be on the rolodex, he could be you or I. But that knowledge is, without exception, the most classified piece of intelligence in the entire history of being.
[Picture by Shinkiro]
The Historical Significance of Underwear: history books teach you that undergarments such as stockings, panties, and garter-belts originated as a fashion statement for the impoverished unwashed back in the early days. Propaganda taglines included "If you're not wearing undergarments, then you're a witch" and the ever popular "Don't be a fool, cover your tool." The truth of the matter is inherently irrelevant. We don't need to know where they came from but damn are we glad they're here for us. But did you know intelligence agents created undergarments as a way to conceal information in the most private of spaces? Several secret labs were used to design a piece of clothing that has the functional requirements of a hidden pocket or pants-under-pants. So, enjoy your underpants, for the secrets they hold can be many.
[Picture by I-don't-know]
The Luna Sceptre: in a lab hidden in plain sight, researchers the world over created the ultimate technological achievement. That achievement was the Luna Sceptre, a tool of such advanced technology if the researchers hadn't constructed it themselves, they'd believe it was real magic. It could summon, teleport, levitate, and blast. They couldn't find enough paper to write down the practical applications. One of the researchers, a mistress of exotic physics knew such a power at such a time would be absolutely abused. She did the one thing no Geneva convention, no G20 Summit, no UN council would ever vote to do: get rid of it. She stole the Sceptre and escaped to another reality, a reality where she was a blond Japanese schoolgirl who could use a Moon Scepter to transform into a magical Amazon. And so Mahou Shoujo was born.
[Picture by Bruce Timm]
Operation Greenbird: Greenbird was a go when Hitler seized control of Germany. It was said to be an alpha protocol that consisted of grouping together the world's greatest agents and exterminating the omega threat. The Star-Spangled Shield, the Son of Odin, and many others were gathered and told that the man with the toothbrush mustache would one day kill millions. They were ordered to stage a false flag so the world would have proper reason to assassinate the Fuhrer. On the way to the staging grounds in Poland, the Greenbird ops, without order, voted on the moral consequences of their actions. Would the pros of starting a war to give validation to a political murder plot outweigh the cons of possibly killing millions by starting another Great War? The vote was unanimous-- they don't do it. Here's where the facts change: the ops managers knew free will would be an x-factor and installed mind-manipulator chips in their brains to override free will. As soon as they voted to not do their job, they turned into mindless murder machines and marched on. Hitler was never assassinated and millions died.
[Picture by Chris Samnee]
Golden Patience: a warrior spy during the Romance of the Three Kingdoms era who's name was lost to the ages was the first man to time-travel to the future. During the Battle of Mt. Ding Jun, this warrior, carrying important intelligence about upcoming enemy formations, found himself lost. He took a look at the info he transported. What he found when he read that scroll was a war-ending strategy that only one man could fulfill. Taking it upon himself, he carved a secret cavern into the rocky mountain and shut himself inside, meditating. Using astral projection, he entered the minds of Wu, Shu, and Wei officers, slowly seeding the end of Three Kingdoms era. After years, it was a success. China was one again unified but the warrior, stuck in the astral plane couldn't return to his body. His consciousness waited 2,000 years until he found a man performing astral projection as well. The warrior stole his body and lived as an old man in a young body. His real body is said to still be in Mt. Ding Jun.
[Picture by Hiro Mashima, Fairy Tail]
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